Gary Calhoun

It is a new year and resolutions are being made with resolve. For many of us those resolutions will center on what we want to become in the new year. The engine driving these changes will be focusing on trying to become different from our current self. The mantra will be about improving, setting goals, and at the very least changing.

The desire to change will consume a lot of mental and physical energy during the first few months of the year. For some of us the process will expire in weeks. With so much energy focused on changing there is little left over for being.

What I mean by “being” is to turn our focus inward on ourselves. The courage to look at ourselves with clarity of mind takes courage. Taking an unfiltered look at our true self is much harder than half-hearted but well-meaning attempts to pursue more obvious and acceptable resolutions for change. Who could fault someone for setting goals to lose weight, start exercising, or advance in their career? I would ask the question “are you sure these desires for change represent your true self? Are you moving in a direction that represents your true desires and strengths?

You will have more success identifying your true self with still reflection rather than hurried and misguided striving. Ask yourself if the changes you want to make in the new year represent your true desires or what you are being told should be your goals and aspirations.

Here is wishing all the courage to stop, listen, and accept what you find. The goal of improvement is to identify who we truly are and accept what we find. By accepting what we find is not the final step. Acceptance of our true self does not mean becoming stagnant in our growth as a person. It is only when we come to know who we truly are can we make progress in making the changes that reflect our true self. Changes can be good if they reflect our true self and are not a reflection of what others expect.